For my online friends

Now I'm finally a published author one book old and this morning finishing a convo online I realised what was the best thing about this writing journey. 

Of course the book is a unique award and it's absolutely thrilling to have a published work and be able to say I've written this. But what I got were the priceless friends I've made on the way. Friends who've supported me sometimes in unexpected ways. Surprised me. Friends I can talk to in troubled times and those who understand and totally 'get' it. 

So this post is for my friends. I can't name you because I might miss someone, there are so many of you who helped in each of your unique special ways. But at the risk of getting soppy, much love to you all and thank you. Because without your contribution, I wouldn't be feeling so great at this point in my life. 

So as I finished the chat this morning,  I was filled with this warm fuzzy feeling and grateful to my book because it brought me inadvertently in contact with such awesome people. 

Do you have awesome friends? What is more important in being published?  The book or the journey?

What 2012 brought

At the year end, I'm duly taking a retrospective look at the gone by.

Like probably all of you, 2012 has been thick and thin for me too, treacly at times, custard-smooth at others.  

Now it's  near its end - where did the time go? Maybe that feeling is better than having time sit on your hands :)

It brought me a lot of things that I'm thankful for. New friends, surprisingly people I haven't yet met in person, only online, and some of them with whom friendship quickly grew till they entered firm friends list. And like firm footing, my writing group friends, still there to share things with. And (psst) vent your frustration at when you need it :)

Growing closer with my husband, yes, that may sound strange after sixteen years of marriage but is true, along with long morning walks we definitely found new things to learn about each other and appreciate.

Watching kids grow. Every mom and dad rushes through this. But on occasion you sit back and reflect and you get a warm mellow glow.

Then regarding my own personal growth. Learnt to listen (slightly) more. I learnt to take criticism better. At times even admitted my weak spot instead of flying off the handle when anybody pointed out what I had done amiss. But only at times, mind you ;) I'm not wearing a halo yet. (Don't want to be all goodness and sparkles.)

Writingwise, my major leap was winning Mills and Boon Passions III contest. And getting a chance to work with a - whoops - editor! Made my writing make inroads and go into depths I should never have dreamed of otherwise. Take it from me, an ed can really put their finger on what thing in the story niggled you but you didn't know what to do about it or shirked from taking that blind bjt spectacular jump. I learnt to strengthen my characters. Not hang onto scenes which didn't work for the characters however emotionally attached I was to them (the scenes, not characters) :(
*sigh* Still not satisfied with my writing and most of the time feel like throwing it all away or hiding under the blankets BUT for my writing friends' support. Plus my ed is so kind and encouraging enough about the parts that do work that it gives me enough turbo power to go on.

And yes the most important lesson I learnt this year. The lesson of last year's mistakes, now reinforced that family comes first or even writing doesn't give me satisfaction. Last few days, I took time off for my visiting relatives and played with my five-year-old nieces and their smiles and chuckles will stay with me, warming me. Especially, when writing is frustrating and you feel like throwing wip at the wall, you know you did some good. Gave people joy like bro-in-law and his wife relishing the stuffed paranthas I made. So if you're doing something right, maybe you can make this work too.

So like me if you suffer from bad writing days or bad days in general, my advice is to remember and reflect on things you've done well and decide you can tackle this too, the problem you have in hand. 
Most of all, take a minute to dwell on past lessons and learn from those mistakes. But never beat yourself up about them, however tempted you are to.

So with this wish you a very Happy New Year. And hope it won't bring bad days at all for any of you!

The Inconvenient Muse

Writers often struggle with that slippery customer, writer's muse. Mostly the problem is in pinning it down. Well, I have been hard at work trying to put down the first three chapters of my Passions book. I call it that after the name of the contest Mills and Boon India hosted and also because it is that for me...a passion. Though the amount of mental and even more psychological energy being expended - in seesawing the ever threatening question of Will It Be - makes for the more appropriate term 'obsession'. Anyway, to get back to the point, during this I have discovered how inconvenient my Muse has become. After wasting away precious keyboard minutes in jabbing away words I know can't be exciting to the reader since they sound flat to me, I give up and go start on lunch. Only to find that suddenly the situation I was head banging is crystal clear, the hero who had been mouthing dialogues like my recalcitrant son at lunch when he doesn't get his favourite meal, is now really talking as though he means it, all in my head, the heroine is whizzing away on her emotional stream, a stream made up of perfectly tailored words. Maybe it's because the stress of thinking is gone or that having your hands busy allows your mind to wander off on its own path. But the problem is, instead of tapping keys, my fingers are closed around the spatula. How tough it is only if you're a writer you can imagine! Out of desperation, I grab the nearest thing, my phone and starting qwertying the lines, only they've faded a little and takes me a bit of thinking to remember, what did he say after she said this?oh bother! And then the ominous sound of sizzling vegetables reminding me of where I am. Scratch the typing, I have a family to feed and a charred meal will not make for happy smiles.
Ah such are the trails of an inconvenient muse!


What about you? Do you wrestle with this inconsistent entity? Have you ever thought of the perfect scene then not remember a word when you started to type? Do share your thoughts, I'd love to know!

Have a great week! :)

SHOW NOT TELL

How many times we have heard of this red flag warning in writing? To tell you the truth, I'm still struggling to grasp it. When I do try to scan my writing through this mirror, it fairly drives me up the wall to try to fit my words to suit it.
 Recently something happened to make me see this in a totally different light that had nothing to do with writing at all.
I had been writing furiously and had to leave it to make dinner. So in the eager rush to get back to my ms, I decided to make an ordinary and quickly procured meal of chapatis and lentils for dinner. It would be good for digestion for my in-laws, I told myself and of course lentils are full of proteins so that's great for kids. My son didn't agree with my time-saving but not so savoury efforts. I told him, Mom's busy, so if you're a good boy, make do with this. He answered with something to the effect of 'do you even care what I like?'
This really struck me. It wasn't the first time I'd opted to 'make-do' instead of lavishing my energy on preferences. In my effort to keep the ball rolling and get things done while making extra time for writing, I'd begun to focus more on needs and less on choices. I was expecting everyone to adjust to my lack of time, but what my son said made me wonder if they were interpreting it as lack of love. Show not tell. That's as important in everyday life as in writing. Love has to be shown in caring, in taking into account our loved ones likes and dislikes, otherwise it's no use telling another person how much we love. Love means extending our time and patience to them.
That incident was something of an eye-opener. So I made my son his favourite stuffed parantha and had my smiling boy back.
Now I've made myself a promise to always show, not just tell!
What about you? Have you had a rush hour moment when you ignored someone? Did you get a chance to put it to rights? I'd love to hear your take on this.