Why New Year resolutions fail

“The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” 

― Samuel Johnson

New Year Resolutions!Oh those (dirty) words again!  By now most of us have had enough of of them. In the spirit of the beginning of the year and when it was safe to just 'make' them, they looked quite easy. But once they're on the way to becoming an uncomfortable reality, it's safer to have them slide out of your life. Why? Why can't we stick to those despite our (former) best intentions?

I've heard it said, it takes 21 days to form a habit. Sounds simple, doesn't it? So all you have to do is keep at a undesirable routine for 21 days and there! It becomes an ingrained part of your life. Or does it?

I believe the first thing to do is ask yourself. Do these resolutions feed into my long term goals? Those of staying healthy. Staying fulfilled. Staying productive. If it does, why am I not giving my best shot at it?

Here are three most common reasons why resolutions fail. All you have to do is avoid them.

1)Inadequate preparation: Are you prepared for it?  Mostly, we fail to make place for the resolutions in our life. Space. Time. Preparation. All are needed. If it is dieting, have you stocked your fridge beforehand? Have you handy crunchy carrots to tide over the munching impulses? Have you set aside  more food preparation time for healthy snacks and soups?

If, like me, your aim was to get more writing done, have you created space in your day? This  might involve something as routine changing as a later bedtime for you (and earlier one for kids if you have them.) Some free minutes around lunch time, tearing yourself away from your gossip hour at work. A "don't disturb me time" few hours at weekend. Shedding tears over missing your favourite sitcom or serial. Also beware of your surfing time. That's where most free time drains. Says one who knows :(

2) Failure to view repercussions :  It was ok to have that workout for a week, but now it starts to feel punishing so you stop pushing yourself. This 7th to 14th day window period is hardest to get through. Most resolutions collapse during this. My previous routine was better, you think. This is the time to ask yourself : why did you have this resolution? Review if your productivity has increased after the new routine? Do you feel better for taking the time for exercise? Moreover, remember it's part of the plan feeding into your long-term goal of staying healthy. Instead of a year more, think two more weeks to get through. It will actually become easier because it will become a habit after that. You'll thank yourself and be proud to say, yeah! I did it! 

But do remember to ease up if what you've set is actually hard to keep up or if you find you are ignoring other important tasks. You can't take 5 km morning walk and then if your body isn't accustomed to it, be sleepy at work. Slow down and build it up again.

3) Failure to be accountable : Have someone crack the whip and make you do it. Mom, spouse, friend, anyone around to keep a check. Give your expected word count for the week to your writing group and have them nag. Get them to do it and be honest in reporting your progress.

So to sum up, prepare adequately, review and rev up, and lastly have someone to supervise. Sound simple? It is! Just think I HAVE to do this. 

Hope you have success!

Do let me know if you found this useful.

I'd also like to know. What kind of resolution are you struggling with this year or did you struggle with last year? How do/did you aim to fix it this time around?

Happy good-habits-forming weeks!

What 2012 brought

At the year end, I'm duly taking a retrospective look at the gone by.

Like probably all of you, 2012 has been thick and thin for me too, treacly at times, custard-smooth at others.  

Now it's  near its end - where did the time go? Maybe that feeling is better than having time sit on your hands :)

It brought me a lot of things that I'm thankful for. New friends, surprisingly people I haven't yet met in person, only online, and some of them with whom friendship quickly grew till they entered firm friends list. And like firm footing, my writing group friends, still there to share things with. And (psst) vent your frustration at when you need it :)

Growing closer with my husband, yes, that may sound strange after sixteen years of marriage but is true, along with long morning walks we definitely found new things to learn about each other and appreciate.

Watching kids grow. Every mom and dad rushes through this. But on occasion you sit back and reflect and you get a warm mellow glow.

Then regarding my own personal growth. Learnt to listen (slightly) more. I learnt to take criticism better. At times even admitted my weak spot instead of flying off the handle when anybody pointed out what I had done amiss. But only at times, mind you ;) I'm not wearing a halo yet. (Don't want to be all goodness and sparkles.)

Writingwise, my major leap was winning Mills and Boon Passions III contest. And getting a chance to work with a - whoops - editor! Made my writing make inroads and go into depths I should never have dreamed of otherwise. Take it from me, an ed can really put their finger on what thing in the story niggled you but you didn't know what to do about it or shirked from taking that blind bjt spectacular jump. I learnt to strengthen my characters. Not hang onto scenes which didn't work for the characters however emotionally attached I was to them (the scenes, not characters) :(
*sigh* Still not satisfied with my writing and most of the time feel like throwing it all away or hiding under the blankets BUT for my writing friends' support. Plus my ed is so kind and encouraging enough about the parts that do work that it gives me enough turbo power to go on.

And yes the most important lesson I learnt this year. The lesson of last year's mistakes, now reinforced that family comes first or even writing doesn't give me satisfaction. Last few days, I took time off for my visiting relatives and played with my five-year-old nieces and their smiles and chuckles will stay with me, warming me. Especially, when writing is frustrating and you feel like throwing wip at the wall, you know you did some good. Gave people joy like bro-in-law and his wife relishing the stuffed paranthas I made. So if you're doing something right, maybe you can make this work too.

So like me if you suffer from bad writing days or bad days in general, my advice is to remember and reflect on things you've done well and decide you can tackle this too, the problem you have in hand. 
Most of all, take a minute to dwell on past lessons and learn from those mistakes. But never beat yourself up about them, however tempted you are to.

So with this wish you a very Happy New Year. And hope it won't bring bad days at all for any of you!

Yayyy.....and Merry Christmas

Yayy! We're all still here and very glad to be! Having survived the apocalypse (warning), we, I mean all of us, are looking forward to Christmas and spending holidays with family.
All this doomsday prediction stuff made me think of the times such warning have occurred in the past. I was a kid of maybe seven years, when I had first brush with this sort of mortality warning looming overhead, that was Skylab crashing to earth, the debris of which, thankfully went mostly into the Indian Ocean. Later came nuclear threats. Then these predictions began to become popular. The Nostradamus forecasts for the end of the world, and most recently this Mayan Prophecy. I don't deny I do get murky thoughts when I hear them and when children hear of these predictions...well, I do think nowadays they are suave enough not to take them to heart but somewhere they do stick, don't they? My son did show me a YouTube video of the meteor crashing into and burning the Earth and I had to look up and show him the NASA website where they absolutely denied its threat. Suffice to say, can do without kids feeling insecure because of all the widespread propaganda. Had to reassure him with a lot of counter-arguments and hugs.
Anyway, holiday season is here and time to dwell on these things is...well, can't find it! School break has begun, brother-in-law is coming over today with his family, so kids are pretty excited to meet their cousins. Thankfully whatever fears plagued us are done away and we are free to celebrate.
So I wish you all a very Merry Christmas! Have fun in the holidays and even after the hols, infuse every day of your life with fun. I say we can permit ourselves, out of the sheer relief of having survived so many dire prophecies! Am sure you'll agree :)

Next Big Thing - Guest post with Jennifer Faye

Hi folks, today I’m hosting Jennifer Faye, a soon-to-be-published Mills and Boon writer. Jennifer writes for the Cherish line and she’s here to talk about her story via Next Big Thing which is a round of ten questions where writers talk about their wip. If you missed mine you can read about it in my October blogs.

Please welcome Jennifer and let’s learn more about her book.

Here she is :)

 Hi everyone. I’m thrilled to be here.

Ruchita, thank you so much for inviting me to stop by your blog.  And I must say that I loved your “Next Big Thing” Q&A. I can’t wait to read the rest of your story. Thank you again for tagging me.

A little about myself. I am Harlequin Mills & Boon’s newest Romance/Cherish author. I’ve had a passion for writing all of my life. When I got “The Call” last month, it was literally a dream come true. I like to write emotionally stirring romances that will bring a tear to your eye and a smile to your heart with each happily-ever-after.

If you want to read more about me, you can check out my website: www.jenniferfaye.com (soon to be updated)

****

 The following answers pertain to my first sale to Harlequin Romance / M&B Cherish. Squee!!!

 Q. What is the working title of your next book?

 Rancher to the Rescue”

Available July 2013 U.S./U.K.

 Q. From where did the idea come?

 The story was something I developed this summer for the Harlequin Romance Fast Track. It was a wonderful story to write with lots of emotional twists and turns to keep me riveted to my computer.

Q. Under which genre does your book fall?

 I write for Harlequin Romance / Mills & Boon Cherish. I love the emotional depths you are able to explore within the line—from smiles and laughs to the occasional damp eye. Talk about an emotional rollercoaster with a happily-ever-after :)

Q: Which actors would you choose to play the part of your characters for a movie?

 I’d picture Isla Fisher as my heroine Meghan. And Adam Rodriguez from 'CSI Miami' would be just right as her rancher.

 Q. What is a one sentence synopsis of your book?

 When a big, splashy wedding goes awry, the runaway bride is aided by a reluctant rancher, but their adventure has only just begun and as their complications mount, they’ll find out that their future plans are about to be revised in ways neither of them could have ever predicted.

Q. Will you self-publish or be represented by an agent?

 This book will be traditionally published via Harlequin Mills & Boon.

Q. How long did it take to write the first draft?

 Honestly, not long at all. At the time I was working one-on-one with my now-editor and I had deadlines to meet. I've always worked best under pressure. :) If you’d like to see how it unfolded. You can read about “The Call” here:

 http://community.harlequin.com/showthread.php/757-NEW-SALE!-Jennifer-Faye-SOLD-to-HARLEQUIN-ROMANCE-MILLS-amp-BOON-CHERISH!!!/page2

Q: With which books within your genre would your story compare?

 Oh my, I honestly don’t know. I’m really hoping that it is different and that’s the reason my editor and Harlequin Mills & Boon has brought me onboard.

Q: Who or what inspired you to write this book?

 Boy, these questions don’t get easier, do they? :)

 The inspiration behind this book had absolutely nothing to do with my characters. I was currently working with a fabulous editor at Harlequin Mills & Boon and I wanted to keep working with her. So I had to come up with a great story, something that would make her sit up and take notice. So she inspired me to write a fresh story with a unique twist.

Q: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

 Although the story is set in the American Southwest, it has a contemporary feel with a celebrity cook, who likes to turn up the heat in the kitchen. Things definitely never get boring for these two.

Ruchita, thank you so much for inviting me to your blog. I've really enjoyed my visit.

Thank you, Jennifer. Oooh a runaway bride, a celebrity 

cook. Sounds intriguing! I'm longing to read it already. 

Hope you all enjoyed Jennifer’s visit. July will be here soon and you can read this exciting story of runaway bride and her rescuing rancher for yourself. Love to hear from you, so don’t forget to leave a comment :)

The Next Big Thing

Today I'm posting in response to Nikki Goodman's tagging me on Facebook to take part in The Next Big Thing. You can read her post here. In  the Next Big Thing, writers answer ten questions about their work in progress and then tag five other writers to do the same the following week.

Here are my answers. Hope you like getting to know about Zaheer and Vishakha, the characters in my WIP.

Q. What is the working title of your next book?

       It's the first book and the running title is Her Dream Date. 

Q. From where did the idea come?

       I entered the Mills and Boon India's Passions III contest with this story. I was one of the three winners in the contest.You can read the story here .  It was only 2k words then.  Coincidentally, the idea was that a girl wins a contest. The story really took off when my hero and heroine materialized, and solidified, in my mind. They have great interaction and are absolute fun to write. In fact, it got to be an effort to limit their ongoing conversation in my head!

Q. Under which genre does your book fall?

      Mostly I like to write contemporary romance though I'm 

drawn towards paranormal too. This one is a contemporary, written along the Riva guidelines.

Q: Which actors would you choose to play the part of your characters for a movie?

      Hmm, they'd be from Bollywood. I think Hrithik Roshan because basically I took the idea of Zaheer's colouring from him, those hazel eyes and streaked hair! It could be Ranveer Singh with the careless charismatic manner he had in Ladies vs Ricky Behl. Or Sameer Kocchar because of the height, but he'd have to wear contacts lol!  As for heroine, maybe Deepika or Diana Penty. I like the look Diana had in her debut movie. Vishakha has the same kind of vulnerable look, but with more calories to her :)

Q. What is a one sentence synopsis of your book?

      Fitting it all in one sentence is a bit tough, well here goes : A workaholic jilted doctor with no time for fun, finds herself fighting her attraction for a  flamboyant Bollywood actor. 

Q. Will you self-publish or be represented by an agent?

     Well, I'm cosy where I am now, coming to notice of an editor through the contest. Since my dream publisher is Harlequin Mills and Boon, working with one of their editors has been a realization of my hopes. Fingers crossed for getting published through this.

Q. How long did it take to write the first draft?

     I did a bit of rewriting for the first three chapters. Then I wrote the next three chapters. Wasn't satisfied with them and my editor kindly looked them over and she agreed to what I felt wasn't working. She sent me some suggestions. We talked over them and then I really got to writing it and finished it in around one month. I'm working on the revisions now.

Q: With which books within your genre would your story compare?

    As a story of a girl coming into her own, it has a very faint resemblance to Jessica Hart's the Secret Princess. But quite far off in theme and story. Actually I haven't read a Riva like this one. The background setting is Indian and because of that it's a different dish altogether because I wanted it should carry a flavor of Indian values.

Q: Who or what inspired you to write this book?

    My love for Bollywood, I guess, that was what made me give the hero his profession.

    Actually it was an observation that struck me about the difference in the way of the life of different social circles within the society. I had the occasion to attend a get together among professionals, mainly doctors. And then shortly afterwards, I was in a social function of mainly upper class housewives. I couldn't help comparing that the style of dressing for the women was so totally different. The doctors wore more muted shades and less bulky jewelry.  Their hair style and make up was understated. While in the other event, make up, jewelry, the apparels, everything was louder.  That was when I started to carve out the heroine Vishakha's character. She is a busy doc with no time for fashion dressing. But due to circumstances she starts questioning her total absorption in her work. Which leads her to a journey deeper in her own psyche.

Q: What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

    Well, maybe the setting. Part of it is in Lucknow and I've tried to capture the old world charm of the city. As well as aroma of the delectable Lucknavi cuisine. Then a part is set in Mumbai with, hopefully, a flavor of Bollywood coming through.

Thanks for going through this with me, hope you liked hearing about my (hoping-to-be) book. And now I tag the next five who are:

Jennifer Faye

 Xandra James

 Jennifer Drogell

 Carmen Clavuot 

 Samantha Wood Veerasamy 

Really enjoyed this and looking forward to 'hearing' about others soon. :)

What's important - weather or season?

Follow the season not the weather. Why? Because weather temporary and the season is lasting. Though with the changing climate scenario the above statement is less and less applicable. More properly, what's more important - the mood or the nature of a person? A bit of wind in summer doesn't make you take out your thick woolens. What about the minor irritations which crop up in our day? Maybe the two have nothing in common. But something made me think of this analogy as a part of everyday circumstance. 

We were on a holiday and my son refused to do as he was told, pulling a frown and acting mutinous. While I felt reactionary anger, my daughter cautioned me, mama let it be. So I dropped trying to get him to do what I wanted. The next moment I realized he was probably tired from the journey to high altitude as well as the sightseeing walk we took. So no wonder he was acting up. Normally a sunny kid, the change in him was just on that occasion. Sure enough next day he was back so I could lay my momentary fear of having a rebellious tween on my hands to rest. *happy smile*

This did make me think. There are times like these when our loved ones have a falling out with us. If we exercise a bit of patience and lot of love, the cloud passes away. But sometimes (read often for me) we are too rushed and lacking the time to think it through and we have quite a storm on our hands before things cool down. Heaven forbid, they not do any lasting negativity.

So next time anyone in my family gets a frown, I'm going to think it's weather, not a season. At least I'm going to try to. Would you like to? Love to know what you think of my little analogy.

Ciao! :)